Communicating with others, whether with friends, family or co-workers, is not always easy, especially if you have different communication styles or views on any given subject. Misunderstandings can easily arise, leaving you feeling like you are not being heard, taken seriously or are being unfairly criticised. To make your interactions go more smoothly, try to keep your emotions in check and use these tips:

Really listen to the person

Give eye contact, don’t interrupt, try and listen without judgement and refrain from trying to figure out what to say next (when you are doing this, you stop being able to really listen!).

Try to stay objective

This can be challenging. It can help to focus on the good intention and what they are doing right.

Show your respect and that you are open to the person’s opinion

Avoid frowning, looking away, rolling your eyes, or checking your cell phone if you don’t agree with someone’s opinion. Instead, nod, use minimal encouragers (mmhmm, yes) to communicate you are listening.

Don’t dominate the discussion, interrupt, or make speeches

Be patient and pause between your sentences, allowing others to collect their thoughts and express themselves. It can take longer for some people to put their thoughts into words.

Make comments that invite the other person to open up

You might ask, “What do you think about brainstorming about the project?” Or, “Does my idea make sense?” Use “I” statements to frame your thoughts and opinions. For example, when discussing a hot button subject, you might say something like, “I’ve always found that…” This can help avoid putting the other person on the defensive.

If the dialogue is going in the wrong direction, take a moment

Consider if you are doing anything to antagonise the other person. Are you being fair?

Find a way to end a discussion if it is going nowhere

You might say, “I see your point but we’ll have to agree to disagree. Or, “You bring up some interesting points, I’ll have to think about that.” Then make your exit with a smile.

**Adapted from Health Advocate